Unf**k Yourself

For the last few months I have been experiencing a transformation of sorts. For those who don’t know me well personally, I owned my own business for seven years. After much thought and discussion, I made the decision to sell it. I did so with the intention of going in a different direction while also helping my husband with his own small business that thankfully has grown a lot in a short time while he’s still at his full time job

Awesome plan, right? We thought so too but the universe had something else in mind. At literally the exact same time that I was signing the contract to officially sell my business, my husband tore his shoulder playing ice hockey. I kid you not, both things happened within the same hour of time.

So there I was, filled with excitement about officially moving forward on a new journey and my husband walks in the door much earlier than expected with an injury that to no fault of his own, threw a giant wrench into some well laid plans and intentions.

But that’s life right? No matter how well you plan, regardless of time, effort or intention, shit happens.

This was when listening to my own advice would have greatly helped me. This was where taking the time to adjust and rearrange the immediate future would have been ideal. And in my own defense, I did roll with it…for a little while, but then I started spiraling.

I had plans. I had ideas. I had intentions. I had so many things I was going to do that now couldn’t be done. My anxiety was at an all time high and really climaxed a month or so ago. The negative self talk, the inner doubt and disgust with my own progress, the continuous feeling that I was not where I was supposed to be - I think I came close to what the kids call a “menty B”.

Then one of my beautiful friends said something so simple and straightforward - so completely nonchalant. Maybe it was the timing, maybe it was just what I needed to hear at that moment, but something clicked. Somehow it was exactly what I needed to hear at exactly the right time. The slap across the face I so desperately needed.

GIVE YOURSELF GRACE.

Even just typing that makes me take a deep breath.

It’s not that I “had” plans, ideas and intentions, I “have” them. None of those things were gone. Nothing had changed other than timing. I was so caught up in ‘not being able’ to move forward as intended that I didn’t take the time to refocus. I didn’t stop to breathe and acknowledge the reality of the situation. Things could still progress. Actions could still be taken. It clearly wasn’t going to happen on the expected timeline but IT COULD STILL HAPPEN. The only thing bringing everything to a halt was ME.

So I listened to her advice and decided to do just that: give myself grace. I replayed all the shit in my head that I post here and preach to you. I took the advice of the amazing woman who has had to overcome and workaround obstacles almost every single day - ME. And just like that, the fog began to clear and I was able to see some light. I went back to my original plans and ideas and started to put some action behind them.

It’s okay to stumble sometimes. It’s okay to lose your shit. But you have to find your way. You have to be flexible. You have to be willing to make changes. You are never ‘stuck’ unless you decide to be because you have the ability to change. The only one who can stop you is YOU and the only one who can truly push you forward is YOU.

And guess what? You can do it. It may take time but it is possible. Keep moving forward and when you feel like you’re failing or falling apart, remember it will pass. You need time to grow and change. So give yourself that time and more importantly - always give yourself grace.