UnF**k Yourself

I’ve been contemplating sharing this story because I don’t want to talk smack about a stranger but I guess if he follows my page and sees this it might benefit him anyway so let’s talk.

A couple of weeks ago, I ran into a guy in a wheelchair at the supermarket. He looked like he was in his twenties and was shopping with a woman. I always take note and dork out a little when I see someone else in a chair because we are few and far between and I feel like we should just be cool with each other but that’s not always the case.We didn’t talk, I just noticed him and smiled and he looked away, ignored me, and went about his business. I’m not petty so I let it go. (obviously bc I’m here blogging about it).

Once again, fate worked its’ magic and this same dude showed up at my booth at the farmer’s market where I work every Saturday. He avoids eye contact once again - FINE - but the woman and I look at each other a few times before I ask, “didn’t I just see you at the supermarket the other day?”

She agrees and we exchange a few words. They laugh about my soap named ‘chick magnet’ and she jokes to me that he should use it because “girls in their twenties aren’t into guys in chairs.”

I politely laugh and ask him how long he has been in a chair. He answered but still wouldn’t look at me and I KNOW he didn’t mean to give me his most snide look, but he did. Maybe it’s whatever the male version of ‘resting bitch face’ is. Maybe it’s his ‘stop asking questions that are none of your business face.’ Maybe he thinks I’m an asshole - but he doesn’t even know me yet! Maybe he’s just shy… I don’t know. What I do know is that I am a woman in my forties and I was totally turned off by his attitude BOTH TIMES we had our encounters.

Do I have a point here? Yes, yes I do. If you’ve been following me long enough, we’ve touched on this subject before.

It’s not the chair. It’s your attitude. You’re coming off as an asshole and it has nothing to do with what’s on the outside, it’s coming from within.

That goes for everyone - those in wheelchairs, those with autoimmune disease, those with a missing limb, and extra thumb, obesity… whatever it is that you’re carrying around, should not outshine the person you are on the inside.

Trust me, I know it sucks. I know some of you are in pain or have pretty bad days, but that shouldn’t reflect who you are as a whole all of the time.

Does every girl in her twenties scroll past every guy with a physical issue? I doubt it. Maybe some do, maybe a lot do, but maybe they’re looking you over for other reasons. Didn’t think of that, did you?

It’s so easy to blame the traits that cause our biggest insecurities as the reason we can’t get what we want - a date, love, good job, happiness. I’m sure once in a while they just might be the cause but the majority of times it is not and you really have to look a little deeper.

It’s cool to dislike parts of yourself - you shouldn’t but I think we all do it now and again. Learning to accept those parts of you and understanding that they don’t define you, but are only a small part of who you really are, will make all the difference in the world as to how you see yourself and in turn, how others view you.

Stop making excuses and start making a change. Change how you see yourself. Work on loving yourself. Accept your flaws and know that others will true. Don’t be afraid of success. Everything you want is there for the taking, you just have to be willing to know:

YOU ARE WORTH IT. ❤

…and to the gentleman who inspired this train of thought: There is a girl out there who would love you if you would just fucking smile and say hello.

#justdoit #sci #spinalcordinjury #beyoutiful #change #confidence #unfuckyourself