The Kids Need to Know!

I had something planned for today’s post but I’m going to put it on hold for now. I got really triggered about something this morning and I feel like it’s relevant here so I’m going to share with you.

Our younger son is in fifth grade. He came home with a permission slip I needed to sign regarding the movie ‘WONDER’. We were given the option to allow him to watch in class or not, in which case he would be sent to do another activity during movie time. 

For those who don’t know, WONDER is essentially a remake of the movie MASK in which there is a child born with a disfigured face and the struggles he goes through in life and also - being integrated into school as a fifth grader. 

What about this triggered me, you ask? Well, let me tell you: not allowing your child to watch something like that is the exact reason children and in turn, children who grow into adults, are not as accepting to others who are ‘different’. Not allowing your child to see this even though it could be an emotional experience, is one of the main reasons the child in the movie has such a hard time integrating into school. 

I get it- it’s sensitive material. It’s not easy to watch. It’s emotionally difficult to understand and isn’t necessarily a ‘feel good’ movie the whole way through. But life is funny like that. It’s not always sunshine and rainbows. Not every child in school looks like the model of what the ideal kid should be BUT PEOPLE SHOULD LEARN THIS. 

To be fair, the students did read the book so they didn’t have a choice about learning the story BUT ‘seeing’ it gives it a whole new meaning. 

As someone who is visibly different than almost every other parent and student in that school (and most other schools) I find this really frustrating and quite honestly - it pisses me off in case you can’t tell.

I’ve spoken to you before about why when you’re out with a child and they see ‘someone like me’ or anyone noticeably different, you shouldn’t pull them away or scold them for asking. Explain to them that people are different. Let them know that it’s okay. Show them by example that you don’t need to look away or shush them and pretend it’s not happening because that is only teaching them that it’s not okay. 

Maybe I’m generalizing when I say that kids who aren’t allowed to see this or are sheltered from all things emotionally uncomfortable or out of the norm will be the same kids (and adults) who treat others who don’t look like them as if they are less of a person. It’s the reason those people will be teased or taunted or left alone at recess. 

Maybe fifth grade is a little young in your opinion - but is it? Aren’t kids that age being bullied already? I know my son has been because he isn’t always considered ‘the norm’. It’s okay. You can have your opinion. I’m just here sharing mine.

Perhaps as an adult who was disabled as a teenager and had to integrate back into school looking different than EVERY SINGLE STUDENT around me, I have a better understanding of why this is so important. Or maybe I’m just more sensitive about it.

Either way, it’s a big deal TO ME. I encourage you to be open and honest with you children. You don’t have to scare the shit out of them but by allowing them to know that the world is not always a perfect place, you’re only helping them grow. Sheltering them from the truth is only going to hurt them and potentially so many others around them.

Promote the idea that people are people no matter what they look like on the outside. Help them learn to be accepting of those who are different. Teach them that it’s what’s on the inside that truly counts. Please!

Thanks for listening. I really needed to share that :-) 

#wonder #disability #different #acceptance #children #please #sorrynotsorry