I’m Not For Everyone and I’m Not Trying To Be

For those who are newer here you might not know that about ten years ago I wrote a book. Actually, I wrote many books but I wrote one in particular about my life. For the last several months as I’ve been working on my own well being and some other new ventures, I found myself saying something like, “if I wrote a book now it would be very different.”

It is a book about my past so it’s not that anything changed but I have changed. When I began writing ten years ago my mindset was very different. I was worried about what others would think. I was concerned about how I would be judged for the words I used or the stories I told. Everything I wrote was true, but it wasn’t authentic. I was holding back. I was afraid.

During that time I also studied integrative nutrition and became certified as a health coach. At the end of my program when I had the chance to work with others, I decided it wasn’t for me. As a typically open and honest person I found it hard to respond to people in the way I thought I was supposed to. It was just another limiting belief I put on myself.

Since that time and as you may have noticed if you’ve been reading my writing, I don’t hold back much. I try to share as much of myself as I can comfortably do and I do it authentically. Although nothing in my life experiences has changed, my perspective has.

That was solidified the first time I posted here years after writing that book. I received messages from those closest to me ‘suggesting’ I should watch my language because I might offend or alienate potential readers - a critique that would have crushed me not too long before then. My response was one of my favorite sayings of all time:

“I’m not for everyone and I’m not trying to be”.

Sure, I still struggle with feelings of belonging and wondering what others think of me but at the same time, I also don’t actually care. I used to want everyone to like me. I was apprehensive about what I was sharing and how I was presenting it. I feared judgment and being criticized. I think as I got older and obviously wiser, clearly better looking 😜, I noticed something important- only one opinion truly matters: MINE.

I wasn’t ready to be my authentic self back then. I wasn’t bold enough to share as deeply as I can now. I wasn’t brave enough to respond to clients with the honest truth. I mean, not for nothing but if I couldn’t be my true self - a pure and honest version of who I really am, how could I encourage others to be theirs? I wasn’t ready.

I learned that It’s okay if not everyone likes you. It’s fine for people judge you based on their own beliefs or perspectives. What people think of you is not your business. You have to be comfortable with yourself and once you are able to do that, you will attract those who like you for YOU. Why would you want to be around people who expect you to put on a show for them anyway?

I’m sharing this because I’m sure some of you feel the same way or can understand where I’m coming from. (Oh my God, what if no one does? What if I’m the only one? Are you laughing at me? Do I sound like a fucking loser?) JUST KIDDING - but do you see how destructive that line of thinking can be?

It’s not easy to change your mindset but IT IS POSSIBLE. Life is a constant work in progress. I have not mastered being everything I want to be (yet) but I am so much closer than I was before. As I am now truly comfortable with myself, I hope to help others do the same. Life is too short to live it trying to please others. Be true to you and everything else will fall into place.