Don’t Judge a Book By Its Cover

I was having a conversation last week about my work as a romance author. Something we spoke about felt relevant enough to share with you all. Let me know what you think.

I LOVE writing. My grammar is shit and my spelling is meh but I love telling stories. I love creating them. I love using my imagination. I love making up characters and deciding their fate.

Women’s fantasy romance is the biggest selling genre around. The more stories I wrote and the more I researched and read reviews, the more I realized that many women (my books are targeted for women) use these kinds of stories as their baseline for relationships. That is no bueno.

I am not typically a romance reader. It’s just not my favorite genre and I believe that’s because I find the whole ‘happily-ever-after’ annoying. I don’t mind the fantasy side of it. I can get on board with lots of different imaginary ideas. I guess it’s mostly the notion that what you’re reading IS fantasy, but it’s also a completely sugarcoated version of reality.

These stories can set completely unrealistic expectations for women. Read enough of these books or watch enough Lifetime movies, and it’s hard to accept the harsh reality: NOBODY IS PERFECT. Most people are flawed in some way - but that doesn’t mean they’re not amazing.

It’s kind of like social media. You see the best side of everyone. You see the happy occasions, the fun times, the love, the wealth - but you rarely see the struggles. You hardly ever come across the hurdles and obstacles those people experienced to get to that happy place. You have no idea how many filters a photo went through before it showed up in front of you.

Lately I’ve been reading more about people dating - especially women with disabilities and I have to tell you, it’s crazy sometimes.

Women find it hard to meet men because many do tend to judge a book by its cover. BUT they’re also judging men based on this fantasy checklist - and it works both ways. Thanks to virtual dating, people are finding companions they feel a connection to but quickly ending it because the other person doesn’t fit the mold of what they think their lover “should” be.

They are passing on someone potentially amazing because of the rose colored glasses we are accustomed to seeing things through. It’s so important to remain in touch with reality. If someone makes you happy but they don’t meet your ideal salary requirements in dating, isn’t it still worth a shot?

If someone isn’t a good fit for you, that’s a different story, If they make you smile and feel good about yourself, don’t toss them aside because they don’t fit into the mold those around you think you should fill.

Imagine if my husband had passed up on me because of my physical appearance? He would have missed out on the best twenty-five years of his life (so far). 😂😜

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Stop and take a look around. Take a look in a mirror. Be grateful for who you are - flaws and all. Learn to do the same with others. You might be surprised who comes into your life when you allow things to just ‘be’.

#sci #relationships #marriage #sugarcoat #realshit #dontbelievethehype